dating / lifestyle

Road trip vignettes

The best part about roadtrips is all the "big" stuff you get to see. Including, but not limited to, this big ram's butt.

The best part about roadtrips is all the “big” stuff you get to see. Including, but not limited to, this big ram’s butt.

Christmas was a special time this year. It marked my first Christmas with my boyfriend, just the two of us, in a new city, without family. It was romantic. It was intimate. After a few days of all this romantic specialness, it was time for more company. This meant one thing – ROAD TRIP!*

Road trips are the best. Music, scenery, discoveries, conversation and processed snacks.

Outrageous claims

*My boyfriend claimed whoeever discovered the playtpus thought it was a prank. He further claimed that this person then dissected the platypus to see if it was artificially stitched together. To me, this sounds like whoever discovered the platypus was actually Dexter.

*I claimed that goannas grow to 5 metres long and like to jump on the back of unsuspecting humans.

Turns out, they only grow to 2.5.

*Further to my initial claim, I claimed that crocodiles can climb trees. This is based on, an admittedly sketchy, memory of a readers digest article I read when I was seven where some poor tourist was dragged from a tree and had her leg bitten off. My boyfriend took this opportunity to mention when we eventually have a property with acreage, he’d like to have a croc enclosure on it (…wtf?)

Political debate

*We argued about whether Australia should become a Republic. I maintain that being kicked out of the Commonwealth Games would suck. It’s the only time we win gold medals.

*We argued about the introduction of the GST and work choices. I’m not sure why, but I’m still bitter about both of these things. Maybe it was seeing John Howard watching the Ashes – I thought I’d never have to have my retinas burned by those bushy eyebrows again.

Wineries

*We passed heaps of wineries which was met by the same question – can we go in pleeeease? My boyfriend never relented which meant he must have had quite a reasonably formed fear that once in, I wouldn’t come out.

Fellow drivers

*We saw a white mercedes which inexplicably would disappear behind us, only to turn up well ahead of us 30 minutes later – on a single lane highway. The number plate was 666. This clearly proves God justifies us tailgating the bastard.

Stuff on the side of the road

*My boyfriend refused to buy me any of the ducklings that were on sale on the side of the road. Good luck with that croc enclosure then, buddy.

Discovering quaint towns

We drove through a place called Toothdale! Seriously.

One of the residents had a full size army tank parked in the driveway. Seriously.

My boyfriend announced that Toothdale probably had more people than teeth, and then saw fit to start humming the banjo song from Deliverance.  Seriously.

*Does anyone remember that movie? It had one thing going for it, which was the following line:

“Of course taking the short cut is hard. If it were easy, it would just be the way.”

CROCODILES CAN CLIMB TREES I TELL YOU!

CROCODILES CAN CLIMB TREES I TELL YOU!

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